Devil's Bicycle Advocate  
Devil's Bicycle Advocate
Copyright 2003/4 Jack R. Taylor
Think, question and maybe change - maybe not. But above all else, think.
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Environmental group to streamline urban sprawl attacks
Urban Sprawl test may be first in a series
SAN FRANCISCO— With the growth of American suburbs now expected to completely destroy life on earth, the Sierra Club decided today to make available to all major news agencies its own fill-in-the-blank press release, formerly used only internally. Upon the occurrence of any bad news, a fully functioning Sierra Club press release assigning blame to urban sprawl can be produced by simply inserting the disturbing news into three blank fields provided on the form. While emotional issue blame assignment has long been popular with the public and especially endeared itself to advocates for religious and racial solutions, the template concept with its direct availability to world news agencies is seen as a breakthrough. "We've taken a dark ages concept and adapted it to 21st Century technology," bragged a Sierra Club spokesperson. In a test of the system conducted in August, urban sprawl was successfully linked to West Nile virus, child kidnappings, and e-mail spams promising increased penis size. More Reading