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Bike lane designers dispute television psychic's claims
HUNTINGTON, NY Claims by psychic John Edward, star of the television program Crossing Over, that he is able to penetrate the shield offered by bike lane paint and contact loved ones riding in bike lanes are being dismissed as all but impossible by bike lane designers. "Reaching a bike rider protected by bike-lane paint, that's almost inconceivable," says spokesman Rich Olken of the bicycle industry's Bikes Belong Separated coalition. "We here at Bikes Belong Separated know our science, and bike lanes are based on that science," continued Olken, "Contacting the dead is one thing, that's good science. But Edward's bike lane claims can be true only if he is able to bounce his signals off one of the alien spaceships we know to be hiding behind the Moon, or something like that maybe."